Making Estate Planning a Family Conversation

With National Estate Planning Awareness week coming up next month, it is a great opportunity to open the conversation with your loved ones about estate planning, whether it be to discuss your own plan or that of your loved ones.

While it can be uncomfortable to think about, let alone discuss, our incapacity or mortality, it can provide some peace of mind for our loved ones and ourselves knowing that a plan is in place. If you haven’t put a plan in place, reaching out to an estate planning attorney is a good first step.

If you are married or in a long-term relationship, it makes sense to undergo the process with your spouse or partner to ensure your plans coordinate and align with each other. For example, if you have minor children together, you want to make sure both parents designate the same guardian in your wills to avoid a protracted legal process if guardianship is needed.

While you are going through the estate planning process, you will also want to reach out to those who you wish to list as your personal representative, trustee (if applicable), guardians of minor children, and agents in your plan.[i] You want to make sure the people you wish to serve in these roles are okay with taking on the role and are prepared for it. You will most likely want to list successors for all of these roles and checking in with all successors is important as well.

If you have children, you should discuss with your selected guardian and trustee of your children’s trust your wishes for your children’s future. For example, it may be important to you that your children remain in the same school or in your home. You want to make sure your selected guardian understands this and can accommodate your wishes. After talking through your wishes with your selected guardian, you can put some language in your estate planning documents so they have something to refer to for guidance.

While many of the estate planning documents provide opportunities to provide clear guidance on how you want your affairs handled upon death or if you were to become incapacitated, having conversations with loved ones around certain topics can be helpful. For example, health care directives/powers of attorney can guide your loved ones through what your wishes are for your health care in certain circumstances, but talking through your wishes in person can provide some peace of mind to your loved ones if they are faced with difficult decisions in the future. While you can provide guidance in your plan documents about your wishes for the disposition of your remains, talking it through with loved ones provides an opportunity to think it through as a family and provides guidance for them in the future.

One of the most important parts of these conversations is letting your loved ones know that you have a plan in place and where they can find your estate plan documents. It is a good idea to keep your original signed estate plan documents in a fireproof filing cabinet or box. Keeping them in a safe or safe deposit box can cause complications down the line if no one knows how or is unable to get into the safe or safe deposit box.

When you put your own plan in place or update your plan, it can be a good opportunity to talk with your parents or other loved ones to ensure they have a plan in place. You will want to know that they have put a plan in place so their wishes can be carried out. In addition, you will want to know if they intend to list you to serve a key role in their plan. If you are to serve a key role, you will want to know where your loved one’s estate plan documents are being stored and if you can access them.

Thinking through all of the issues involved with the estate planning process can feel overwhelming. But, when you bring loved ones into the conversation, it can provide reassurance to all involved. Many estate planning attorneys provide the opportunity for family members to be part of these conversations during the planning process, if desired and authorized by the client.

Ozdeger Law can help you get your plan in place. Getting started is as easy as setting up a free 15-minute video consultation!

[i] A personal representative is someone you designate in your will to oversee the administration of your estate. If you have minor children, you will need to designate a guardian for your children in your will to ensure your children would be cared for by the person you would choose, if needed. If you have a revocable living trust or a minor’s trust, you will need to designate a successor trustee for your trust or a trustee for your minor’s trust. Finally, in your plan you will designate agents to act on your behalf on financial and healthcare matters.